Zoo Joke: The Viper

One weekend, Mr. Brown took his kids to the zoo.  He did not enjoy this visit, mostly because it hadn’t occurred to him that there would be snakes there.  Mr. Brown was TERRIFIED of snakes, and yet he allowed his kids to drag him into the Reptile House, where he was confronted with snake after snake after snake.

Especially terrifying to him were the deadly vipers, coiled menacingly in their displays.  In fact, when he stared at them from certain angles, it seemed that there was nothing between him and the snakes (and in the back of his mind, remembered how dirty his own windows were).  It seemed like the snakes could crawl right out and get him.   For the next several days, he had trouble sleeping, so possessed was he by nightmares of venomous snakes coming to get him.

One dreary day, Mr. Brown was sitting in his office, staring out the window and trying not to think of snakes, when he heard a knock on the door.

“Who’s there?” he called.

“Mr. Brown, this is the Viper, let me in!”  boomed the voice from the other side of the door.

“What?” gasped Mr. Brown.

“I said, this is the Viper, open the door!”

“You… you… you can’t come in!  Go away!” Mr. Brown exclaimed.  He searched around the room, hoping to find some place we could hide, some object he could use as a weapon to defend himself.

“Mr. Brown, I am the Viper, I must come in!”  The handle of the door began to turn.

Consumed with terror, Mr. Brown collapsed in a dead faint in the middle of the office floor.  As he lost consciousness, he heard again:

“Mr. Brown, this is the Viper!  I’m here to vipe the vindows!”