Satire: Ridiculous Zoo Signs

 Maybe the world is a more dangerous place than it used to be.  Maybe it's that people get hurt more easily than they used to, maybe it's because their feelings get hurt more easily than the used to.  At any rate, we live in a litigatious world.  Of the thousands of folks who enter zoos, aquariums, and other wildlife attractions daily, there are plenty who would happily sue if anything unfortuitious were to happen to them (to which I would reply, "Suckers!  We don't have any money to sue for! Bwa ha ha!"

The problem is that many of these same people are quite willing to do stupid stuff that puts them in harms way.  Maybe they go somewhere that they aren't supposed to, or do something against the rules.  Sometimes it ends in tragedy.  Other times, naught but hurt pride... or a camera snatched by a monkey, or a drenching of tiger urine, or some other unpleasant (but sometimes deserved) outcome.  In other cases, the visitor may be fine, but the animal may suffer.  In either situation, the obvious solution for the zoo or aquarium to cover itself is to put up a sign.

Problem: no one reads signs.  Ever.  I'm pretty sure that I could insert the text, "Come to the keeper office and ask for [me], first person to do so gets my next paycheck!" and no one would notice it.  That or they (correctly) assume that said paycheck is too small for the effort of finding the keeper office... I digress.

Anyway, if we want people to look at signs to get valuable information, maybe we need to make them a little more interesting.  Some possible examples can be found here.