I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas...

When I was a fair bit younger and (only slightly) more irrational and impulsive than I am now, I told my parents that all I wanted for Christmas was a pet hippopotamus.  The hippos at the local zoo were my favorite animals in the world at the time, and I wanted nothing more than to have one of my own.  

My father, trying to deflect my six-year old ambitions as gently as he could, pointed out that having a pet hippo would be a lot of work, a task best left to the professionals at the zoo.  It would be a big animal, he reminded me, and need a lot of room, and I had even thought of where the pool for it would go?  No, he concluded sadly, we just didn't have room for a hippo in the house.

According to him (again, I was five or six years old at this time, so I can't verify this), I cocked my head to the side and said, "Dad, I'm talking about a pygmy hippo," and proceeded to argue that we at least had room for that.  It was a concession, alas, that he never was to make.

With the hindsight of years, I've been forced to conclude that animals don't make the best Christmas presents, something I've had extra occasion to mull over lately as I've visited the pet store for supplies and food this last month.  This is especially true in the cases where the pet is a surprise and the recipient never even asked for one.  Unlike many gifts, a pet requires a tremendous amount of care and can't be simply shoved in the back of a drawer and forgotten until wanted (not gracefully, at least).  There are expenses of feeding, housing, veterinary bills, toys, and other supplies.  Depending on the pet, there are time commitments also, which can be demanding.  

And that's not even considering the return policy... lots of gifted pets end up unwanted and neglected or abandoned.  

Pet-giving isn't just an issue at Christmas - the aftermath of Easter every year often involves hordes of bunnies, chicks, and ducklings that were cute for a week or two, then pooped in an inconvenient place and wore out their welcome.

If you're going to give a pet - especially an exotic one or one with highly involved care (so, anything other than a pet rock), please make sure that the person you are giving it to knows that they want one and is expecting on in the immediate future.  They should have already done all the research on it - how big will it get, how long will it live, what sort of habitat will in need, etc.  Ideally, you should have them come with you and pick the animal out themselves so they can be sure about the companion they are getting.  Sure, you lose that element of surprise under the Christmas tree, but not all surprises are good ones... trust me.

Whatever pet you get, whenever you get it, plan on making a commitment.  If your exit strategy involves donating it to a zoo, guess what?  They probably won't accept it.  Releasing it into the wild?  Also a bad idea - ask the quaker parakeets of San Francisco, or the Burmese pythons of the Everglades.  If you get it as a baby, plan to keep it as an adult.

If you want to make a contribution to the care of a wilder animal than one you'll find in the pet store, go to your zoo or aquarium and "Adopt" one.  "Adopt" is in quotation marks because, despite what some confused guests think, you don't take it home - you simply sponsor its care at the zoo.  Or, you can make a contribution to an organization that protects that species in the wild (Proyecto Titi for cotton-topped tamarins, for example).

Sure, it's not as exciting as Santa bringing you a hippo.  But both you and your animal will be much better off.  That and you won't have to dig a giant pool in the backyard...

Merry Christmas Eve!

Though I do still want that hippopotamus...