Satire: Doug Lipstick's All-Eel Zoo

Do You Have What It Takes To Work At Doug Lipstick's All-Eel Zoo?

Not to brag, but I was hired as an eel master.  There really is absolutely no reason to share this, and it's so unrelated to zoos and aquariums to barely qualify as "Satire", but oh well...

You’ve Been Hired As An Eel Master At Doug Lipstick’s All-Eel Zoo!

Great news! Your skills and previous work experience make you qualified to be an Eel Master at Doug Lipstick’s All-Eel Zoo! As an Eel Master, your duties include killing the eels during eel rebellions, feeding people’s best friends to the eels during mealtimes, and protecting the eels from my hungry daughter, Priscilla Lipstick, age 40. After Doug Lipstick, you’re basically the most powerful person in Doug Lipstick’s All-Eel Zoo! Congratulations, and welcome aboard!