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Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Zoo Joke: The Proven Breeder

The city zoo has long had a flock of free-roaming peafowl on its grounds.  One day, the only male in the group drops dead.  Now, he'd been an old bird, well past his prime, and it was a long time since he'd sired any chicks.  The bird curator wrote to a bird dealer and requested a new male, preferably a proven breeder.

A week later a crate arrives at the zoo, and the curator unloads the new peacock.  Before turning him loose, he looks the bird in the eye and says, "Look, I'm going to be blunt.  I paid a lot of money for you and I want a lot of chicks from you.  At the same time, I want you to take it easy, don't overwork yourself.  I want you to last for a while."  With that being said, he opens the crate and lets the peacock out.

The peacock shoots out like a blue streak, rushes for the first peahen and breeds her, immediately.  Then he rushes to the second, then the third, then the fourth and final.  As soon as he is out of peahens, he immediately jumps a fence into the flamingo yard and begins to breed with the female flamingos, one after another, in rapid succession.  Then the ostriches.  Then the penguins.  Then the toucans and macaws and storks and cranes.  Flabbergasted, the bird curator can't even watch, and strolls away, shaking his head.

The next morning, the bird curator comes to work when he spies a flock of vultures, circling above a field in the middle of the zoo.  Rushing to the field, he finds his new peacock, lying flat on his back with his eyes closed and tongue lolling.  Furiously, the bird curator yells, "Didn't I tell you?!?  Didn't I tell you to take it easy?!?  Now look, you're dead you stupid bird!"

"Shhh," whispers the peacock, opening an eye for a quick second, glancing up at the circling vultures.  "They're almost in range."

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