We'll take a break from the weighty subject of animal welfare to celebrate Valentine's Day with one of my many moments of professional humiliation. What makes this one so special is that it doesn't involve animals... or visitors... or even being at my own zoo.
As a professionally-developing keeper, I was excited to attend the AZA Midyear Conference a few years back, hosted by the Albuquerque BioPark. It was a great chance to meet new people, learn about advances in the profession, and get my name out there. Unfortunately, that's not all I put out there.
Attending an official social function one evening, I was determined not to embarrass myself in front of the bigwigs, so, among other methods of erring on the side of caution, I stuck with soda instead of alcohol. I was listening to one zoo director pontificate, mostly smiling and nodding and taking an occasional sip of soda, when I glanced at a display table next to me. It took me a second to process what I was looking at:
Then I realized, they were condoms. Condoms, in endangered species themed wrappers, with poems on them written for the 12-year old boy in all of us. If I remember correctly, it was the horned lizard one which sent me over the edge. Soon, I was spraying soda from my nose all over the esteemed director... and anyone else in arm's reach (nose reach)?
The Center for Biological Diversity, recognizing the import role of contraception in lowering human population growth, is distributing 40,000 of the aforementioned condoms to what it recognizes as the ten most sexually active cities in the US. Often, when we talk about population growth, it's pointedly aimed at Asians, Africans, and Latin Americans, which is more than a little prejudiced. There many be fewer people in North America than in Africa, to be sure... but each one of us uses a heck of a lot more resources than your average Tanzanian or Botswanan. Making a dent in population doesn't help unless it's paired with a reduction in resource use (such as water and fossil fuels) as well.
This is a fun publicity stunt for Valentine's Day, but I think I could have come up with a better plan, one which would have had better results while spending less money. Don't even bother sending the condoms - the wrappers themselves will do the job just fine.
I can't imagine too many young men making a ridiculous, soda-spraying spectacle out of themselves like I did that day would need a condom afterwards. Granted, I had been trying to land a possible job interview down the road, not a date, but the net damage was roughly the same. That reaction would be a perfect wet towel for any budding Valentine's Day romance.
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