Normally, The Onion is one of my favorite go-to sources for zoo satire. This one just didn't strike me as funny as some of the others one though. The best satire is supposed to hold a mirror up to the real world and show an exaggerated version of it to teach a point. In this case, however, the satire was a far tamer, more believable version of what we really deal with.
Area Dad Didn’t Shell Out $100 At Aquarium For Lecture About Ecosystem
MYSTIC, CT—Expressing frustration while viewing the Mystic Aquarium’s
stingray exhibit with his family, local dad Jeff Palmer told reporters
Wednesday that he didn’t shell out $100 of his hard-earned cash just to
listen to a lecture about the ecosystem. “I paid good money to see some
fish and big sharks with my kids, not hear a guy spout off about this
coral species that’s going extinct,” said Palmer, adding that he had
expected the marine expert talking about rising ocean temperatures to
instead hold up a stingray that visitors could touch or, at the very
least, feed it some type of fish that they could all watch it eat. “Come
on, I didn’t drive all the way out here just to have some boring
scientist list off a whole bunch of endangered species. Can’t I just
watch the seals swimming around in the tank without another stupid
speech about shrinking habitats?” At press time, Palmer was growing
“pretty goddamn sick” of getting raked over the coals every time he
tapped on the aquarium’s glass to get the attention of the sharks.
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