Friday the 13th

Not even three full months into the new year and our second Friday the 13th... sigh.

I'm not terribly superstitious... well, maybe just a little.  Actually, growing up, I really tended to look forward to Friday the 13th, reasoning that bad luck for everyone else might actually mean good luck for me for a change (it never quite worked out that way, but I could dream...).  Some people actually have a crippling phobia about the day, becoming too scared to leave the safety of their home.  For those of us who do go out to work, we just have to hope nothing too unusually bad happens.

Remember, the bigger the black cat that crosses your path, the worse your luck.

And so, in honor of Friday the 13th (a day which is now almost over), here is a brief list of some of the things that have never happened to me, but I still worry will on some unlucky day.

1.) Getting a visitor bitten by an animal

I've done a fair bit of animal outreach, handling animals for educational programs and occasionally allowing visitors to touch those animals.  One of the most frequent questions I get is "Does it bite?"  My answer is always "Yes.  If it has a mouth, it can bite... because that's what mouths are for."  I'm pleased to say that I've never had a visitor bitten by an animal that I've been holding, be it a snake, a young alligator, or a particularly untrustworthy cockatoo.  I have been bitten by animals while holding them for education programs, most notably a tarantula which bit me in front of half the schoolchildren in my state.  That I'm okay with.  As long as the visitors themselves are unscathed, I can say that it could have been worse...

2.) Getting bitten by a potentially rabid animal

I've been bitten plenty of times... by zoo animals.  A bite from a wild mammal, a potentially rabid one, would definetly rank high on my nightmares list.  I've had to run down and catch plenty of suspected rabid animals that have entered our zoo - a raccoon or skunk staggering around in daylight sets up red flags for any animal care professional.  I've had one raccoon bite me through a welding glove I was wearing when I grabbed it.  It hurt like heck, but didn't break the skin, for which I am very grateful.  A series of shots is no one's idea of fun.

3.) Getting locked in a walk-through freezer

At one job, the zoo where I worked fed out enormous quantities of fish daily, which were stored in a garage-sized freezer that was chilled to below zero Fahrenheit (as in, thirty two degrees below freezing).  Every time I'd walk in to get a box of fish (inevitably in the far back), I'd wonder how long I'd survive if the door suddenly slammed behind me and refused to open.  There are all sorts of safety mechanisms built into these things to prevent that from happening.  Still, the thought terrified me.

4.) Falling into frozen water

This one has also come close a few times.  Working outdoors in the winter is bad enough, especially when you're working with pools, moats, or natural bodies of water.  Tumbling into an icy creek or stream on a subzero day is a quick way to have a fatal mishap.

5.) Letting an animal escape (permanently)

Any zookeeper who tells you they've never let an animal loose... even for a moment... is probably lying.  Just saying.  I've accidentally let all sorts of things out in my career from the rhinoceros iguana that rocketed between my legs the first day of work to the screech owl that flew off when the carrying case I had it in suddenly fell apart.  That being said, I've always gotten them back.  Sometimes it's taken a day or two, during which I've been stressed to pieces, but it's always ended with a recapture.  The thought of an animal I cared for escaping to starve to death, freeze, or get eaten by a predator would drive me crazy with guilt.

There are plenty of other things which I would love to add to this list, but I can't because I have done them.  I've almost started a fire from heat lamps left on wood surfaces.  I've allowed another keeper to get injured (thankfully nothing major) because I didn't have an appropriate grip on an animal.  I've accidentally injured animals (again, thankfully nothing major) during botched capture attempts.

Basically, I've screwed up in the past.  We all do.  It's okay.  Each mistake provides a learning opportunity.  Just like each Friday the 13th provides an opportunity to recall all of those ways in which things could have been worse.  And it can always be worse.