The nation’s zoos have collectively agreed to a new contingency plan for responding to emergency situations.
The decision comes following days of debate and outrage stemming from
an incident in which a silverback gorilla was shot dead after a young
boy fell into an exhibit.
Charles Finster of the Harvard school of Zoology and sarcasm spoke on behalf of the nation’s zootopians.
“We were arrogant to respond to the situation in such a
hasty manner,” said Finster. “We didn’t even bother to do a basic Google
search. What were we thinking?”
Zoos are advising visitors to pack enough food to last at least a day
so there is enough time to successfully measure the general consensus
before responding.
Visitors are also instructed to refrain from feeding the animals they end up trapped with.
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