Search This Blog

Tuesday, July 23, 2019

Zoo Joke: Vet Rounds

A senior veterinarian is teaching a class of first year vet students, and decides to take them on a field trip to the animal hospital at the local zoo.  They are gathered in the laboratory, where a tech brings them that day's fecal samples - a series of steaming, foul-smelling lumps of poop from the zoo's monkey habitat.

"To be a skillful veterinarian, there are two traits that you must cultivate within yourselves," the vet explains to his eager pupils.  "First, you must remain composed in even the most disgusting of situations."  To the shock of the students, he empties one of the vials of feces onto the table, then scoops up a blob of the brown stuff on his finger.  Walking down the row, he brandishes it cheerfully.  "NOTHING should disgust you.  A vet must be BEYOND disgust.  Like this" he exclaims, stuffing a finger into his mouth and slurping.  Suddenly, all of the students look very green around the gills.

"Don't just stand there," the vet says.  "I've had the keepers bring enough samples for all of you.  I want to see all of you prove to me that you have that first trait, that nothing disgusts you.  Go!"

With a fair amount of hesitation, each of the students takes a sample of monkey poop.  Each pokes a finger into the mess.  Each plops it into their mouths.  For the next several minutes, the lab echoes with their retches and groans.

"Doctor?" one student asks, lifting her head up from the trashcan.  "You said that there were two traits that we would need to cultivate.   What was the second?"

"The second trait?  Ah, yes, that's the more important one, by far," the vet says with a broad grin.  "That's the power of observation.  Now, show of hands - how many of you noticed that, while I put my index finger into the fecal sample, it was my middle finger that I put in my mouth?"

No comments:

Post a Comment