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Saturday, April 24, 2021

Zoo Joke: The Second Amendment

In honor of Earth Day earlier this week... I'm recycling a joke:

A police detective grows suspicious over a large number of gun shipments in his city, all of which seem to be funneling towards - of all places - the local zoo.  Obtaining a search warrant, he leads a raid on the zoo.  When he does, he finds hundreds of firearms of all kinds - handguns, rifles, machine guns, even a bazooka or two.  Most surprisingly, none of these weapons are being handled by the human staff of the zoo - they're all being carried around by the zoo's bears.

Well, the police report their findings to the district attorney and charges are filed.  Appeals are filed in return, opposing the confiscation of the weapons from the zoo.  The case earns national attention; it is debated in the media and in Congress and eventually makes it all the way to the United States Supreme Court .  After hearing testimony, the nine justices of the court begin their deliberations.  Shortly afterwards, they return with a decision.

"We find, unanimously, in favor of the zoo animals, whose rights were infringed upon when their guns were taken away," announced the Chief Justice to a packed courtroom.

Stunned, one of the opposing attorneys asked how this could possibly be the Court's decision.

"Well, we didn't agree at first, so we went down to the Archives to read the original copy of the Constitution itself for clarification," the Chief Justice explained.  "And wouldn't you know it, everyone's been misreading the Second Amendment for years, getting it backwards.  It actually says that we have the right to arm bears!"

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