Movie Review: Mighty Joe Young

History, it has been said, doesn't repeat itself, though it does rhyme.  That sets it apart from Hollywood.  Hollywood definitely repeats itself.

It seems that every movie that has ever been made is in the process of being remade.  Sometimes the newer version is an improvement.  Sometimes... less of one.  Consider, for example, the 1998 remake of the 1949 gorilla flick, Mighty Joe Young.  

The story of both movies is a scaled-down version of the more famous King Kong.  White folks go to Africa, meet a giant gorilla (not Kong giant, but still much bigger than a typical gorilla), bring him (and his attractive white female companion) back to the states, and the gorilla ends up running amok, as gorillas in movies brought to the big city inevitably seem to do.  Unlike King Kong, Joe has a happier ending,  being recognized as a hero after saving a child from danger (and therefore allowing the audience to care about him) and eventually being repatriated to Africa with his human friends, where he lives happily ever after.  The end.

I'd seen the 1949 movie and, for what it was, enjoyed it - it's not great cinema, but it was a fun old adventure movie and it was actually somewhat unusual to see gorillas portrayed positively in film back in those days.  So, I decided to give the 1998 movie a stab.  Ok... so if you are showing it to small children, it will be fine.  If you have even the slightest familiarity with animals, it will be exhaustingly illogical and drive you to distraction.  The presence of a 15-foot tall, 2000 pound gorilla is actually the least improbable, unbelievable aspect of this movie.

The world has changed a lot since 1949, especially as it pertains to the movements of animals across the globe.  That the main characters decide to quickly and easily transport a giant gorilla from Africa to America and back again with no apparent difficulties (or notice) strikes me as a little... silly.  That they bring Joe to the wildlife reserve in California without telling anyone at the park what to expect, just show up and unload a giant gorilla?  Hard to swallow.  The bad guy is the obligatory creepy Eastern European (why is it always Eastern European?) poacher, who runs a sham wildlife sanctuary that is actually a front for dealing in the parts of endangered species.  We encounter him at one point as a zoo director, unaware of his sinister dealings, is trying to rehome a giant panda who has outgrown his enclosure.  First of all, it's a panda, not a goldfish - that's not really how pandas work.  Secondly, a western zoo that has a giant panda and doesn't want it anymore?  THAT might be the hardest plot hole for me to swallow in this entire movie.  That and they would send it to the bad guy's compound in Africa instead of, I don't know, China?

I know it's a movie for kids, and as such it can help to simplify things a little bit and make characterizations of people very good or bad to make sure the message doesn't get muddled.  Still, the remake of Mighty Joe Young was a pill too cheesy, saccharine, and unbelievable for me to swallow.