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Sunday, February 4, 2018

Are You Ready For Some Football?

Me?  Oh, no.  Not really.  I manage every year to figure out which two teams are making it to the Super Bowl (Superb Owl?), and pick up just enough factoids to bluff my way out of any football-themed conversation I'll find myself in.  After that, I got nothing.


Every year at about this time, zoos and aquariums attempt to tap into the enthusiasm of the Super Bowl through the assistance of those most reliable of sports pundits, the animals.  This usually is done by offering the animals two treats or enrichment objects, each decked out with the colors or logos of the teams.  The animal then "picks" the winner... though I'm always a bit confused.  If you release a lion into an enclosure with two treats, one "Patriots" one "Eagles", and he devours the "Patriots" one... does that mean he's supposedly voting that the Patriots will win?  Or is he demonstrating that the Patriots will be destroyed?

With so many animals at so many facilities participating, it's not surprising that you get a handful that, based on the sheer numbers and probability, have a track record for getting it right every year.  I prefer to think of it as one of those cases where an infinite number of monkeys eventually produce a script for Hamlet.

So, this year, those zoo animals rooting for the Philadelphia Eagles include Cincinnati Zoo's Fiona the hippo (because believe me, she knows something about beating ridiculous odds), the otters from Elmwood Park Zoo (which, coincidentally, houses the mascot eagle for Philadelphia), and Pinocchio, an Andean bear from the Salisbury Zoo (who just arrived from South America and, presumably, is very confused as to why American "football" players keep cheating and picking up the ball).


Those betting on the New England Patriots include April the giraffe, the lions of the Dallas Zoo, an orangutan from the Hogle Zoo, and Nick the dolphin from Clearwater Marine Aquarium.  Oh, and 95% of the human race.

A saltwater crocodile from the Fort Worth Zoo had his own option set up - two chickens suspended over the water - but the line snapped and both birds fell into the water, where both were promptly eaten.  Don't get too excited about the prospect of a tie.  Salty apparently has an awful track record of picking the winner.

If you're like me, the main attraction of the Super Bowl (besides food) is the commercials.  I'm especially excited this year that last year's biggest celebrity is getting her recognition during one.


Also, what Super Bowl would be complete without a friendly wager or two?  Philadelphia Zoo and Boston's Franklin Park Zoo have made a bet - the zoo of the losing team has to name a goat kid after the quarterback of the winning team.  Careful there - tensions are pretty high this time of year.  I wouldn't be surprised if next month, a jaguar in Philly isn't dining on a kid named "Tom Brady."


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