Jokes on the Inside

It was probably the funniest joke I'd ever heard.  Years later, I still remember it at random times and crack up over it.  And the best part for me is that almost no one that I know who was not in the room at the time would have gotten.

We were at a lecture on crocodilian conservation, and the speaker, a noted expert in the field, was going on a tangent about the fact that many species of crocodile can hybridize, both in the wild and in captivity.  We discussed the threats posed to the genetic purity of the Cuban crocodile in the wild as its habitat vanishes and the more adaptable American crocodile muscles its way in.  We talked about how on crocodile farms in Southeast Asia, the critically endangered Siamese crocodile is crossed willy-nilly with the far more common saltwater crocodile.  And then we reached the finale.

"But most of all," the speaker droned, "the worst possible cross-breed - from the perspective of animal welfare, is to hybridize the saltwater crocodile with the African dwarf crocodile.  Can anyone guess why that might be?"

We all guessed.  We were all wrong.  On the next slide, the speaker presented us with a caricature of a geriatric crocodile, bent over a walker in obvious discomfort.

"Because it can lead to... osteo-porosus," he replied, suddenly breaking into a grin.

It took a moment to sink in.  Then the entire room burst into laughter.

It helps if you know that the African dwarf crocodile is of the genus Osteolamus... and the saltwater crocodile is Crocodylus porosus."  Osteo... porosus.  I don't know why, but even typing this, I'm chuckling.   To this day I wonder how he came up with that pun.  Was he just word-smithing as a hobby, coming up with that cross and planning an entire lecture just so he could spring it on us?  If so, well played, doctor.  Well played.

At another presentation, years earlier, a speaker showed us a picture of a red-and-white can of soda, and asked us to identify it.  "It's a Coke," we replied.  No, he insisted  - it's proper name.  "Coca cola, then."  He was satisfied - and then showed us a picture of that same can, this time prominently held in front of a sign for the San Diego Zoo.  And now?  Still a Coca Cola, we thought.  Wrong - it's a Coca cola cola - it's at San Diego Zoo, therefore it must have three names.

From many of us, an audible groan erupted.  Many of us who had worked with San Diego were aware of their seeming obsession with assigning their animals subspecies (the third name) even in somewhat dubious cases.

I like to think that most professions filled with often useless, arcane knowledge have jokes like this, ones that are only accessible to a handful of people.  We laugh not because they are funny... they really aren't that funny.  It's because we know that no one else will get them, and that by laughing, we're bonding with other members of our group.