The Barefoot Bandit

"I love my eyes, my ears, my mouth and my nose,

But everybody knows I love my toes!"

- Classic Children's Song

As Coronavirus chugs along, many people are becoming increasingly frustrated by the restrictions that are placed upon them in the interest of public health.  Few of this requirements have provoked as much of a backlash as that of wearing face masks.  Yes, they are uncomfortable.  I try to wear mine as little as I need to.  I still consider it essential to have.  When I go for a walk in the evening, I always have it with me, and while I may not be wearing it for most of the time, I put it on at the first hint that I'll be in close proximity (which I define as twenty feet) of anyone.

Many businesses have had to deal with angry customers who don't want to wear masks.  One retail worker on the news mentioned that it wasn't much different from the concept of "No Shoes, No Shirt, No Service."  And boy, did that bring up a memory for me...



About two years ago, I came across a zoo visitor who staunchly refused to wear shoes in the zoo.  I should mention that we were a free zoo, so there was no ticket-taker at the gate who would have caught her upon entry and denied her access.  I happened to get see her, happily strolling down the main path.  There was bird poop splattered all over the trail, as well as the occasional fish, compliments of the heron colony that was nesting overhead.  I had seen children throw up on that path.  Keepers (including me) have accidentally tipped over wheelbarrows of manure on it on their way to the compost area.  All of us had walked it in boots with soles caked in dung and foul bedding.

In other words, the asphalt is not super clean.  The "5-second rule" does not apply here.

Being an open, public space, there's also always the risk of, say, broken glass or other debris, or nails that keepers drop while working on projects.  We try to keep the path as clean and safe as possible, blowing it often and picking up or cleaning up obvious hazards.  Still - it's a public path in a public zoo.  Shit, quite literally, happens.

None of that phased this woman.  She was convinced it was in her right to be barefoot here.  She even tried to give me a card which I'm sure she was carrying for just such an occasion claiming that state law allowed her to walk barefoot wherever she wanted to for religious and health reasons.  I kept the card and googled it later.  It was printed off the internet and had no basis in law.  Or reality, for that matter.

After she had left and after I'd done some perfunctory research, I advised the rest of the staff that, should she come back, she was to be politely but firmly told that shoes were required to be in the zoo.  Thankfully, we never encountered her again... or if we did, it was while she was wearing shoes and we didn't recognize her.

Some people will always be convinced that the rules don't apply to them - and sometimes, there are reasons for rules to be broken or given some flexibility.  For example, dogs aren't allowed in the zoo normally, but service animals are.  Still, it's frustrating how many people will insist that they are bound by no rules, even those that are in place for reasons of health and safety, and that they can do whatever they want.

I wonder if that lady is wearing a mask these days...