Catherine moves across the country for work, resettling in Cincinnati. As her first day off from her new job approaches, she asks a co-worker what folks in Cincinnati like to do for fun.
"Well," the coworker says, "the coolest thing in town right now is Fiona. A few of us were going to go and see her this weekend."
"Fiona?" says Catherine. "Who is she?" Her colleagues gasp. "You don't know who Fiona is? Everyone knows Fiona! She's the most famous baby in the whole city, no the state, maybe the country!"
The next day, they all go to the zoo, where baby Fiona the hippo is on display for the first time. As the approach the exhibit, a sudden commotion rises up through the crowd. An old man in a long white robe and a skullcap walks by, flanked by security men. Catherine stops in her tracks. "Was that... was that the Pope?"
Her coworkers shrug. "Like we said, everyone knows Fiona!" They continue to walk.
A few minutes later, they hear another round of noise. A woman in a skin-tight catsuit comes strolling from the direction of the hippo enclosure. As she walks, she hums a familiar tune under her breathe.
Catherine freezes again. "Isn't that Beyonce?"
Her coworkers don't bat an eye. "Everyone comes to see Fiona. She's famous!"
Finally, they reach the hippo exhibit, where Fiona awaits the crowds. Before Catherine can even raise a camera to her eye, a helicopter descends in the middle of the zoo, just yards away from them. Several Secret Service agents in dark glasses jump out, forming a corridor. Then, a deeply tanned man with orange hair and a red baseball cap climbs out. Walking down the corridor, he throws an arm around the baby hippo and grins for the cameras.
Catherine is absolutely speechless. After a pause, one of her coworkers breaks the silence - "So... who's that guy with Fiona?"